Wednesday, 3 April 2013

F-A-M-I-L-Y

Family, 
The only word in the English dictionary that means nothing to me, 
But Christians aren't supposed to lie, right?
So I'll come clean, 
I'll let you know the truth, 
Which has been up till now, 
A secret, 
And a close guarded one, 
Just imagine the wall that Nehemiah rebuilt, 
On steroids, 
Up, alive and guarding this secret,
So here goes, 
Family, 
When I think, 
When I hear the word, 
Family, 
I feel distant, lonely, abandonment, suffer, abuse, alone, hurt, 
Feeling, 
Hurt feelings, 
Feelings too hurt to even know how I was feeling, 
Feelings buried alive, 
And not being dealt with, 
Only to be dug up years later, 
Forcing me to deal with feelings, 
The truth is I never really knew how to deal with feelings, 
Or family, 
So the real truth is you're strange to me, 
Don't upset me by calling me family, 
That means you'll only hurt, use and abuse me, 
So no, we ain't tight, 
We ain't family, 
Cuz that word only means pain to me.
F - feelings, A - abuse, M - missing, I - insignificant, L - loveLESS, Y - youth

Monday, 18 March 2013

When's It Gonna Be My Time

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV


I shoulda called this piece 'Be Patient' but we all know that pill is just a lil bit harder to swallow!

We all know somebody, who's hooking up with somebody, or someone else who's just got engaged or someone who asked you to be best man, or someone who asked you to use your child to be flower girl in their wedding. Someone always seems to be hooking up with someone, old friends, new friends, random people stopping to tell you their amazing love story.

There's also that one married person who keeps telling you that it will happen in God's time, I'm not disputing that God does His thing in His own time, I'm just asking you nicely to SHUT UP cuz you got your partner and been through your process. You probably done forgot how hard it is to wait!! Thank you.

Keeping it real, we just want God to come through with some dates and times so we can know when our time is, but think about it, if He told you who, when and where you'd probably kick up another storm cuz you have all the details, you just can't wait to get there!

You stay wondering, asking, praying, seeking God, when is it gonna be my turn Lord? I've been single 3 years, I've been obedient, I've sought after You, I have done what You said, I feel like I've done, been through it all and through it all You have been my all, my everything, my only lover. See the thing I've noticed with people like this is that they stay close to God and the longer you stay close to God is the more He'll make you like Him and when that happens He's gotta find a partner that's just like you; just like Him. (I hope you can appreciate how few and far between these people are) God ain't tryna hook you up with no half-hearted, lukewarm Christian who falls at the FIRST SIGN of temptation. For all you know God has to probably bring someone fresh off the street and MAKE them your partner! One preacher said: "the reason you ain't getting with anybody like everybody else, is cuz you ain't LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!" And how true is that? I'm not saying that those who have hooked up aren't legit, I'm just saying God has a time, ordained down to the very second of when you're supposed to meet your spouse.

What do I do in the mean time?

The hardest thing ever... Wait! Not the type of wait where you put everything on hold and sit doing nothing. No, the wait where you prepare. Have you ever really looked into your life and seriously considered if you're really ready for a spouse? What do you have to offer? What do you have to give? See being single is a time to prepare and what better way to prepare than to let the Holy Spirit guide you? He knows who your spouse is! I dare you to ask Him: what's his/her favourite meal so I can learn how to cook it, how does he/she like their coffee, do they even like coffee?!

My most favourite thing about being single is getting to spend time reading my Bible. To me marriage is a ministry and if you're in ministry you understand that it's just not about you! But being single you get to make it about you! I get to spend time with my Husband (Isaiah 54:5 if you're confused) I get to know Him, His precious Spirit and I SUBMIT (I know some people don't like that word let alone the action!) to Him, I do what He pleases and learn to dislike what He dislikes and it's amazing.

There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:34

So yeah I do wonder when's it gonna be my time, yeah I do wanna punch you in the neck if you're married telling me to 'just wait' (not really😂) but I know, I've learnt to trust God and His timing and also His AMAZING match-making skills. He knows me and that means He knows EXACTLY what I want even when I don't know.

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. Psalms 139:13, 14

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Trust

It's amazing the people we trust everyday... From the people who make you a cup of coffee to the bus drivers who transport you to destinations, it's amazing how we often never stop to think how much trust we are giving these people, how much our lives are literally in the hands of the bus driver, one wrong slight and lives could be lost. We often underestimate how much power these people have and how trusting we are we trust these people, with our lives we trust them.

Then we look at Jesus, we look at the Man who became sin to save us from sin, we look to the Holy Spirit an we complain that we can't see Him, but we trust the air we breathe. We look at the Father everyday and refuse to acknowledge, we refuse to put our trust in the One who gave us life and refuse to trust His Son who gives us life more abundantly we won't trust Him. We don't WANT TO trust Him.

Friday, 15 February 2013

Colossians 3:1

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is,sitting at the right hand of God.
Colossians 3:1

If then you were raised with Christ

For you to be 'raised with' Christ you would have to be dead like He was, you would have had to be accused of something, you would have had to know that you were sent into this world to die, you would have had to know that they would choose you over a real criminal, you would have had to know that you would bear your own cross, walk to your place of death, be continually mocked and then stretched wide, and hung high and left to die, you would have to know that the heavens would close cuz your Father couldn't bear to look, angels weep, the ground shakes and the very sun looks away. To be raised with Christ you would have to die WITH Him as He died, you know you would call and say Eli, Eli lama sabachthani you know it wasn't even about you! IF THEN YOU **WERE** RAISED "WITH" Christ

Seek those things which are above

Jesus is no longer here, He stayed for 40 days after He rose from the grave on the 3rd day, He ain't here no more, He's above! And if we're raised WITH Him, just as He had His sights set on things above, kingdom business, so should we! So should we be focused on things above so when the boss gives you a hard time, look up! It's for His glory, when the kids drive you up the wall, look up. When you feel you wanna strangle your spouse (yeah don't look at me like you ain't human) look up, when the driver on the road cuts you up in a bad way, look up... Look to Jesus the author and finisher of your faith, look to things above as you should do once you've been raised from death, SEEK those things, go in search of, go on a quest to find out those things which are above! Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness

where Christ is,

There we shall be also, where you heart is there your treasure is also, where we look to, the things we seek and set our heart to there we shall be too. I go to my Father's to prepare a place for you... What He also said is: while I'm gone, you can find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart, you should prepare yourselves to come and be with Me, you gotta take off them shoes cuz where I am is holy ground, you gotta strip yourself of that bad attitude, them lying lips have to be cured with a hot coal, that envious spirit has to be tested and discarded of, you gotta prepare yourself for the place I'm preparing for you. You gotta have a clean heart, mind and soul to come to My Father's house, where I am is holy ground

sitting at the right hand of God

I am sitting, I ain't roaming no more I have a place to rest My head, not only am I sitting but I'm seated at the RIGHT hand of God my Father. You don't need me to tell you that biblically the right hand means power the right hand means strength!!! I am seated beside power and strength. Look this is where I need you to be, it ain't impossible because I done it. I'm here. I made it.

I died but I'm here, I was raised now I'm here. Where you are is not your destiny I have greater things planned for you but I ain't gon' force it down your throat you have to SEEK the things which are above, I've left nothing on the earth for you. Your riches are in heaven just as Mine are I have prepared a place for you. Are you ready for it?

Please Come!

And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them  with the fragrant oil. Luke 7:37, 38

This woman knew what she was doing, this woman, who in the text is referred to as 'a woman' had this planned a long time ago, there's no way she did this on a whim. She knew what she wanted to do and she went and got it done, she wanted to be forgiven for her sins, which Jesus pointed out in verse 47 of Luke 7, were many. This woman had a plan to push past everything to get what she wanted from her Master. She just had to, she was broken and had to be mended and all she had was the remnants of her past; her alabaster box.


She's strategic, she waited till Jesus was comfortable, she knew that she had to bring the best to The Lord and even if it meant bringing the wages of her prostitution, she brought it anyway. She had to position herself, behind Him because she knew she needed to be led and then she brought her tears, she brought her pain and cleansed Jesus' feet with her pain. She dried her pain with her crown of glory, kissed His feet with lips of praise and them anointed them with a sacrifice which would be a sweet smelling aroma to God.


I could go on and on with this scripture but I hear God calling His ladies, the ones that are so broken they think its no way He loves me now, the ones that have lost their way because of not taking heed to His voice, I hear God calling you home, He's saying come, bring your broken relationship, bring the sexual abuse you suffered at the hand of your father, uncle, brother, close family friend, bring Me your childhood pain, bring me the alcohol and the sex addictions, bring them to Me, lay them at My 
feet, I died for this, you don't have to bring the cross to Calvary, I already did that, though your sins are many please, please bring them to Me, lay them at My feet and I will make you whole. I will because I know the plans I have for you, to give you hope and a future and an expected end, I will because I have loved you with an everlasting love, I will because I have had a plan for your life from BEFORE you entered the womb, please just come!

And to my brothers, I know the testosterone, ego and pride will try and keep you from coming to God and laying down your hurt, shame, guilt and pain but The Lord is calling you too, if anything The Lord needs men, more spiritual leaders in His church, more sons to lead His daughters, He's calling you because He needs you.

And I, I beg, beseech, implore, ask, petition and pray that everyone will answer His call, if you know someone who needs to read this PASS IT ON. This is for the glory of the Most High King, who loves us all no matter where He has ordained our footsteps to trod, He loves you, He needs you and He's calling YOU!

Saturday, 26 January 2013

Just To See You

I'm trying really hard to not let those words get to me,
I'm trying really hard to not process way other think of me,
If
I
Could
Just
Get to....
Where
Jesus
Is,
Then these thoughts and feelings could pass from me,
But they are the ones stop, no blocking me,
I'm tired of doing things to try and make people like me,
If I could just figure out how Jesus wants me,
I just want to be like Him,
Then I'd just try hard to worship Him,
Then,
Why does it have to wait though?
Why don't I worship Him here?
I try hard but the more I try is the more I fail,
If I try harder I fall farther,
I don't wanna do that
But that said; I don't know what I want,
I want Him,
Just to see Him,
His amazing presence
Jesus, can I see You?

Friday, 25 January 2013

Committed, Are You?

People can't commit, yes that word: COMMIT, to another person under the covenant of marriage because they haven't committed to God. They have a 'back up' plan, they have a way out, they have a 'just in case'. Just in case God don't come through for me, just in case He somehow magnificently fails me I'll have somewhere else to go.

Why are we always looking for that something else? Why do we sing "I surrender all" but have a lil bit held on to? And all that lil bit is doubt; God might not come through, we sing how great God is but doubt that He will actually part our Red Seas, we sing how He is our everything but don't run to Him unless we're up the creek without a paddle, Jesus I need a paddle.

God hurts too, I don't care how powerful He is, I don't care how majestic He is, He cares and if He didn't care He wouldn't hurt, He hurts too and so many times carry on hurting Him with our thoughts, our actions, our back up plans, and everything else that we place above and before Him; idols.

But I hear God saying: "why can't you just trust Me? Wholly and totally? I sent My Son! I gave you the only pure thing I had left in this world, I gave you purity so you can be like Him. Pure. I did that, I manifested Myself in the flesh to wash you and make you whole and you think I'm gonna leave you hanging? You think I'm gonna leave you in the pit? Even Joseph was delivered out of the pit! You think I can't FEEL your pain? You think I don't know how much it hurts for you to go through tests, trials and tribulations? But how else am I going to show myself strong? How else am I going to flex my muscles and show you that I am The Lord, the same God, how else? I have a plan that's perfect, predestined before the foundations of the earth is what I said, why then, can't you just trust Me? All that you're asking Me for is nothing! I am MORE than able to do it, how much able are you to trust me?"

We can't commit to a person we can see until we commit to the Invisible Lover, Lord I don't feel like it; I'm mad at You but I'm gonna talk to you tonight, I'm gonna pray and I'm gonna listen to You through Your Word is equivalent to 'honey you upset me today but I'm gonna talk to you cuz we are one body, we share the same bed, I don't love you any less, I'm committed to you'
The ring on the left hand ring finger is equivalent to the crown, the crown of thorns laid upon Jesus' head, IT'S A COMMITMENT!!!

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, don't think as the world does about marriage.

Ladies, the Lord told me that anything He gives me is supposed to draw me closer to Him, if He blesses me with a man, that man is supposed to draw me closer to The Lord, if he respects his God, he'll protect your purity! Him being pure also will know how important purity is. It's cliché, I know but a man is supposed to KNOW and value your worth. He supposed to take me closer to The Lord and that's not in his bed unless he put a ring on it. My job is to enable him to take me there, feed him, nurture him, love him, make him feel loved, put his shoes on if I have to, anything that makes him leading me easier, anything that makes it easier from him to hear from The Lord, he can't hear from God if He's worried about what's for dinner tonight, he can't hear from God if he's listening to his thoughts about housekeeping all the time, and yes I'll know God for myself but he has come to take me closer to God and I have to know that he's hearing from God, I have to KNOW that his thoughts, his heart is ALWAYS open to hear from God!!

Submission is the word used to describe it. Commitment is the word used to describe it. Trust, in The Lord in all your doings and He will do the rest.