Thursday 30 May 2013

My Salvation

It was always my mother's salvation, never mine, it was always what mummy wanted to do. Mummy said when we read the bible, mummy said when we prayed, mummy said we should join the choir, mummy said. I got baptized under mummy's watchful eye because I believed that's what she would like. Mummy was mostly responsible for how I felt about God, I think this actually helped me because at one point in time I got sick of HER God and ultimately rebelled not wanting to take part in her worship. I'd hate for this to sound like this was a bad thing my mother was doing to me so I quote Proverbs 22 v 6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it, so even though I departed from it the roots were so deeply placed that I returned to it. Anyway I rebelled, as soon as I stopped living under her roof, I stopped going to church and was living loose, broke out like a rash and partied like a rock star. I did it till I got bored of it but did it anyway. Every night still I would pray, asking my mother's God to forgive me because still at this point I didn't know God for myself. I would knowingly commit a sin, going into it thinking 'when I get up, God will forgive me so I'll do it anyway, it doesn't matter'. Till I got fed up with living that way, taking advantage of God's mercy and forgiveness (by he way He was still my mother's God at this point) and I thought mommy's God is kinda alright still, I'm gonna try Him for myself and that I did. I made myself go to church every Sunday and read my bible every night because a small part of me actually liked that when Mummy made us do it. So I sought Him and found Him experienced The Holy Spirit and I'm overcome with remorse every time I crucify His Son, again, with my sins, I'm not perfect but perfection is what I strive for. I remember someone saying to me that I can't change I was too stuck in my old ways to change and the words that came out my mouth were "well my friend you don't know the power of the Lord" I didn't need more confirmation that I was on my way to a new life.
 
I remember the first time I came to this church I was overwhelmed by the amount of young people here. I've never seen anything like it, it's not just the young people, it's how Godly they are like they eat breathe and live for Christ and that's something I aspire to. someone asked why people choose the church they go to its an unexplainable thing I can only say it's my God's doing because since my first visit last easter to this day a lot has changed . My God has placed the right people in my way for me to fulfill His purpose in me. It's not just about the atmosphere, it's about the people my God wants me to meet, it's about meeting those people at the right time, its about the acceptance of anybody, no matter what state you're in, it's about the 'don't wait till yu fix up, come as you are'. No one could ask for anymore God in flesh, that's Him right there. There's a lot more to change in my life, I don't think God is finished with me just yet, I doubt He's scratched the surface and this is what excites me the most knowing all He has done for me already from getting accepted at a university without meeting the minimum entry requirements to sending to a place, removing me from all my distractions so I can have a personal, intimate relationship with me and MY God. And the Sign Team, the thing that has blessed me most about this ministry is the songs they sign to that minister to ME personally how i have to go away and download the songs and play them on repeat 'I Won't Go Back' is my favourite one and when someone asked why I won't go back, I just had to say, there's nothing to go back to!
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

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