What Should It Cost?

I adore the simplicity and honesty of the above picture. Some may find it funny, others may lash out and call the guy cheap; the girl stupid and others may even begin to appraise their value making it very clear that no man or beast dare ever approach them with such cheap atrocities. 

But me, I like to think of my self as a simple girl, the rain makes me happy, going for a walk, fresh air. These things excite me.  

Now let's put this into perspective. How many of you get mad at God because you couldn't get the car you wanted, that guy you had your eye on for the past year hasn't even said hello to you much less asked you out or anything, the job you really, really wanted that is so perfect and convenient for you didn't come through so now all you have left is life, some clean air to breathe, good health and a God who loves you. 

Oh how your life must suck!  

This life that we have and live so freely isn't just a sad, horrible life. It's free to us but it cost Jesus His life. We live and complain so freely forgetting to remember that Jesus said He came so we can have life and it more abundantly (John 10:10) 

God isn't here to fulfill all your desires. Think about it, if your parents gave you EVERYTHING you asked for, you be a spoiled, impudent child with no real appreciation for how hard your parents had to work to achieve everything they have. 

God is here, lavishing us with grace, graceful enough to be our guide, to hold our hand and help us along, to fulfill HIS plan in our life. The purpose He created us for because He didn't make us then think what He should do with us; we're a forethought. 

God ain't our sugar daddy, He's not here to attend to your needs as and when we want them. He ain't here to stroke our egos or spoon feed us. 

He gave His life. It may not have been a gift wrapped with elegance, born to die; not in a palace amongst kings, He wasn't waited on by maids and butler but in my lowly theory He was born just like us, divinity in human form; He became me and you to redeem me and you.  

His humble beginnings, lowly sufferings and martyrdom shows us that we may not always have, might never even have the 28 carat diamond ring but as long as we have Him, we will be okay.  

It shows us that the "things" aren't important, it shows that the house, car, husband, the wife, the children, the ministry, these "things" cannot fulfill us like our Saviour can.  

So it shouldn't cost more than what has already been paid. Jesus laid down His life and if all He gives you is a bunch of bananas; rejoice, celebrate and be glad that you have His presence. No matter where you go, what you do, think or say, He will always be with you and that should be enough!  

 .....and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen. Matthew 28:20

I Receive Your Love

I Receive Your Love

“I receive Your love, I receive Your love for me, I receive Your love, I know I am accepted” – Israel Houghton 

I got to thinking about giving, I love giving, I have a real obsession and passion for giving. I will give the clothes off my back, literally if someone asks, or even if they don’t ask; I give, its who I am. I live to give, I love to give. 

But I once received a gift and I didn’t know how to act. I didn’t know where to look or what to think, how to feel or what to say. I have given so much of me, my time and gifts that I didn’t even know how to receive this gift, it was foreign to me. Do I return it? Do I lie and say I’ve already got one exactly like it? Ask for the receipt so I can return or exchange it? I had no clue, I took it home and literally didn’t touch it, look at it or use it. I wasn’t gifted in the area of receiving.

Which lead me to that song “I receive Your love”
Can I sing the lyrics of that songs honestly? I mean I can’t even receive a gift from a man that I can see; how do I receive a gift, the most perfect, flawless gift from a Man I can’t see?

I struggled.

How exactly was I supposed to accept a love that died for me? And every second I spend not accepting what was done on Calvary is another second I keep my Saviour nailed there, bleeding, paying a price over and over again because I could receive His love that would take Him down.

I find it hard to receive love, I found it hard to believe that God could love me. (My definition of love is when a person knows everything that you are, what you did and who you are and still accepts you and still accepts you; that is love) I found it hard to accept that God would know my past, my thoughts, feelings, ideas and desires and still, STILL accepts me and all my flaws, I found it hard to believe much less accept. 

On top of that, there was man’s idea and my perception of love. It was warped because the people who said they loved me didn’t mean unconditionally, they meant they loved me when it was convenient for them to “love” me. 

I found it hard to take my Lord off the cross, I found it hard to receive His love but I got there in the end.

I got to a place where I found out that His love has no strings attached, no demands and most of all, there was nothing i could ‘do’ for Him to love me. That was the hardest part of accepting God’s love is knowing that there’s nothing you can do or did in the past to make Him love you; He just does. 

God loves you, before you were created, before you were thought of by your parents; God loves you. It may be hard to receive His love but it’s there, it’s not going away and there’s nothing you can do to make Him stop loving you.
God, who is love, loves you! 

Receive it! Give it! 

Love hard. Receive freely!

They Have Eyes But Don't See

Haters, fakers and fornicators

Liars, thieves and murderers 

Yes Lord You died for them all, 

And Titus called it, 

He said: "they profess to know Him in word but deny Him deed and action" 

They look pretty Jesus when they dress up for You, 

Words sweet capturing the ear, 

Like a soft summer breeze, 

You can't help but notice 

You see,

And Lord YOU see, 

How? Why? I wanna know why? 

Where? 

Is the amazing saving grace they speak of? 

The convicting presence of Your precious Holy Spirit?

Why isn't it doing to them what it does to me? 

Why can't they see? 

How much they not only hurt themselves; 

But how they hurt You? 

Lord I know You bleed, 

I'll lie and say I feel Your pain but we both know that's not true,

You hurt much more than I do, 

Cuz You shed blood I couldn't, 

You sent Divinity, I couldn't do that Lord, 

But Lord, my heart does bleed, 

Sometimes I can't speak, 

But You know Lord cuz You see, 

The blood You still have to shed from Calvary,

Lord help THEM to see?

Call Me

Call Me 

I can see the pain behind your eyes, 

Even I, 

Yes I sometimes cry, 

I see the tears behind your smile, 

I know the pain that goes into pulling your muscles back from a frown, 

I put your tears into a bottle, 

Yes, 

I number them all, 

I know where you hurt the most, 

Please don't blame me for your hurt, 

Instead look to Me, 

I, 

The only one who can heal you, 

Yes he broke your heart,

But that wasn't Me, 

The was a representation of Me, 

And he wasn't the best one to portray Me, 

Love, 

For I am Love, 

In fact, 

I Am, 

And I will be, 

Everything you need Me to be, 

Everything you think you didn't need, 

Everything you will ever need, 

I will be, 

No, 

I already Am, 

Can I trust you to trust Me? 

Can I trust you to hand it over to Me? 

My child, 

Will you stop crying yourself blind? 

When you do that you can't see Me, 

Please, 

Put down the drink, 

It won't cure your hurt, 

I am here, 

Hang up the phone and get down on your knees, 

Don't call him, 

He can't save you, 

Only I can, 

Call Me!!! 

Jeremiah 33:3,

I will show you, 

Lead you out of darkness, 

Into My beautiful light, 

Get up, 

Out of distress, 

That's not My plan for your life, 

All your shortcomings and failures I knew before I ordained you into being, 

There's nothing too great for Me to forgive, 

Drag yourself to Me if you have to, 

Let My presence overwhelm you, 

Remember there is nothing I can't do, 

But just like a telephone line, 

You have to dial and call 

To be connected, 

To My throne, 

I'm waiting, 

On the other end to deal with your query or request, 

Will you call? 

What Can I Say?

I got a thing to say

If I were a singer I'd say: 

I couldn't find the words to say so I'll just put it in the form of a song 

You'd have to see the words in a dancer's eyes to try and understand why, 

Why what I got to say can't just be said but has to be, 

Written into code into an ordinary phone, 

Letters dictating where my thumbs might go, 

Next,

To tell you, 

That I got something to say, 

See my thing is I gotta get these thoughts out, 

So instead of talking to myself, 

I'll type to myself, 

Hey yo Kristal, 

Did you know that The Lord is good and His mercy is making you look crazy? 

Did you know that the King, 

Started from the top but left it to die, 

For YOU? 

Hey Kristal, 

Did you know that your body is a temple of the precious, beloved and sweet Holy Spirit? 

Did you know that you're loved unconditionally, 

Beyond belief and all humanistic ideals? 

Did you know that it's not always gonna be easy, 

But I'll tell you this for free: 

When you see people worship the God that you stand for and believe in, 

It will take you to a deeper place in Him, 

Where you can, 

Stand, 

In love, awe and adoration, 

With a King, 

Who stooped down low, 

To write these words on my heart, 

So I could share with you, 

Yes YOU! 

I may not know your name but you know this poem is for you, 

You know God has been tugging, playing chords on your heart strings, 

Bidding almost begging you to come to Him, 

All you got to do is let Him in, 

Lift up your heads o ye gates, and be lifted up forever more so that the King of glory may come in, 

And sit on the throne of your heart,

To lead and guide you forever 

More. 

Amen! 

My Salvation

It was always my mother's salvation, never mine, it was always what mummy wanted to do. Mummy said when we read the bible, mummy said when we prayed, mummy said we should join the choir, mummy said. I got baptized under mummy's watchful eye because I believed that's what she would like. Mummy was mostly responsible for how I felt about God, I think this actually helped me because at one point in time I got sick of HER God and ultimately rebelled not wanting to take part in her worship. I'd hate for this to sound like this was a bad thing my mother was doing to me so I quote Proverbs 22 v 6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it, so even though I departed from it the roots were so deeply placed that I returned to it. Anyway I rebelled, as soon as I stopped living under her roof, I stopped going to church and was living loose, broke out like a rash and partied like a rock star. I did it till I got bored of it but did it anyway. Every night still I would pray, asking my mother's God to forgive me because still at this point I didn't know God for myself. I would knowingly commit a sin, going into it thinking 'when I get up, God will forgive me so I'll do it anyway, it doesn't matter'. Till I got fed up with living that way, taking advantage of God's mercy and forgiveness (by he way He was still my mother's God at this point) and I thought mommy's God is kinda alright still, I'm gonna try Him for myself and that I did. I made myself go to church every Sunday and read my bible every night because a small part of me actually liked that when Mummy made us do it. So I sought Him and found Him experienced The Holy Spirit and I'm overcome with remorse every time I crucify His Son, again, with my sins, I'm not perfect but perfection is what I strive for. I remember someone saying to me that I can't change I was too stuck in my old ways to change and the words that came out my mouth were "well my friend you don't know the power of the Lord" I didn't need more confirmation that I was on my way to a new life.

 

I remember the first time I came to this church I was overwhelmed by the amount of young people here. I've never seen anything like it, it's not just the young people, it's how Godly they are like they eat breathe and live for Christ and that's something I aspire to. someone asked why people choose the church they go to its an unexplainable thing I can only say it's my God's doing because since my first visit last easter to this day a lot has changed . My God has placed the right people in my way for me to fulfill His purpose in me. It's not just about the atmosphere, it's about the people my God wants me to meet, it's about meeting those people at the right time, its about the acceptance of anybody, no matter what state you're in, it's about the 'don't wait till yu fix up, come as you are'. No one could ask for anymore God in flesh, that's Him right there. There's a lot more to change in my life, I don't think God is finished with me just yet, I doubt He's scratched the surface and this is what excites me the most knowing all He has done for me already from getting accepted at a university without meeting the minimum entry requirements to sending to a place, removing me from all my distractions so I can have a personal, intimate relationship with me and MY God. And the Sign Team, the thing that has blessed me most about this ministry is the songs they sign to that minister to ME personally how i have to go away and download the songs and play them on repeat 'I Won't Go Back' is my favourite one and when someone asked why I won't go back, I just had to say, there's nothing to go back to!

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

May 4, 2012

I asked what blog I would rather have; Blogger or Tumblr
He said: "neither"
"Why?" I asked
He responded: "Because you have nothing to blog about"
I said: "okay"
Couple days later I launched and published my first blog, 'My Wedding' ---> http://reelrhymes.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/my-wedding.html on the 4th of May 2012. It was written ages before that, ages before I knew the Holy Spirit was an amazing writer, ages before I knew who and how amazing the Holy Spirit is. The fact was, I always wrote, ages before I knew it was a gift He gave me because I couldn't speak, even now still I can't speak properly, but I'll tell anyone for free that I write, or He writes through me better than I can speak. From an early age, it was pointed out that I reach for pen and paper when I'm upset; I like to reflect in awe of how the Holy Spirit was then training me.

The moral of the story is two things:

1. If you're wondering what your gifting is, just tap into the Holy Spirit and He WILL show you. It's God's desire that you know so you can bring glory to Him..
2. NEVER let "people" put a damper on what you KNOW is on your heart to do. ALWAYS listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying and how do you know it's the Holy Spirit? He'll never leave you alone till you do it and when you do you'll have such great peace about it. That's Him! Amazing!

Since he told me I don't need a blog, the Holy Spirit has answered with 69 published blog posts and 1364 page views, not I but Him, all Him and all glory to Him!!

Here it is, a year later and I know the Holy Spirit has many more years of writing in me.

I must say a big THANK YOU to everyone who's read anything on here... I know the Holy Spirit has blessed you somehow!!

Stay Silent

What do you do when you get your confidence back to have it knocked,
All over again,
It's like its being dragged on the floor,
Stamped on,
Jumped up and down on,
Hurled between two tall people,
With you in the middle,
Only tryna catch it,
Only tryna get it back to understand it's worth,
You're keeping quiet not because you don't have a lot to say,
But because you in the equation,
Minus the confidence,
Just seals your lips,
Your mind tells your tongue to not move,
You're being held prisoner,
Because they wont give you back your confidence,
Your held up under arrest,
For what your heart knows what it HAS to say,
But your mind knows that it is not in line with confidence,
So there you just sit,
In silence that has you choked,
You wanna get up and grab a mic,
But what's the use,
If you say it you yourself wont even believe it,
So silence has you bound,
Your confidence in a corner trying its best to not be your friend,
You have no choice but to stay silent,
These thoughts might be the death of you but you,
Stay silent,
While praying for confidence you just have to,
Stay silent,
While hoping for the opportunity to be handed a mic you,
Stay silent,
But don't be mad in silence,
See the beauty of not talking or being able to talk,
Is that you listen,
And in solitary confinement,
You get to know Him,
Him who says be still, be quiet and know that I am God,
Him who wants to be your God, Saviour and Friend,
Him who made you in His image and likeness,
You get to know Him who said He will never leave you,
And what better way to experience a love like that,
Than when you're alone, quiet and still,
Perspective is what will make you realize that,
He went through all that,
Took away your 'friends' and your voice,
So you could be still, alone and silent with Him,
So He could make you into what He wants to make you,
So when you get confidence back,
You'll use it for His glory,
To build His kingdom,
He makes you experience unrest,
So you can appreciate His peace,
It's all a part of His plan,
Just rest in it cuz He's got so much more than your confidence to give you back,
Stay silent before Him
And you can speak in front of ANYONE!

Mr Main Man

He's my guy,
The type of guy that loves everybody but still shows His love for me in a special way,
In a way that I don't have to question His love,
In a way that makes me so secure,
Like I don't have to guess,
Before I ask, He goes out of His way to show me,
Before I fall,
He extends His arm to catch me,
And when He does,
He pulls me close,
To remind me that I am His,
And that He will always love me,
In a way that only He can
No one can love me like He does,
Nothing you do can make me love you the way I love Him,
The love we have couldn't be more perfectly orchestrated,
Couldn't be more passionate,
It's the silent kind of love,
Where more love is shown through doing nothing,
Just being in His presence,
I love Him,
He loves me,
He loves everyone,
But when I am alone with Him,
I can't help but fall in love all over again!

Is It Really Worth It?

Just imagine, you're praying for your husband and some 'random' comes and says "let's just steal a quick kiss". From all the frustrating nights you spent wondering if God even heard your prayers. So you go with this random, in a dark corner and you steal this quick kiss. Your husband who, for all you know had been praying for you and asking God for wisdom on how to approach you, passes by, ready to approach you but you're caught kidding this 'random'. You chase your husband to try and explain why you slipped up, in his mind he's tryna justify what events in a relationship will highlight your impatience and make you slip again. The 'random' has gone on to find his next victim, another woman who has been waiting on God for long and most likely frustrated with Him, to see if he satisfy his fleshly desires. Your husband is considering whether he can trust you and that in itself is not trust. You miss your chance, your husband is mentally wounded, and you've wasted time. All for a moment's worth of pleasure, you have to ask yourself; is it REALLY worth it?

What If?

What if we chased Him as we chased money?
Then, even more?
Fellas,
What if you sought Him like that chick you thought would be your next boo?
Ladies,
What if we wanted to see His glory rather than 9 carats on the left hand?
What if?
What if we yearned for Him,
Longed,
And even,
Physically itched for Him,
What if we woke up thinking about Him?
Trying all day long not to grieve Him?
Just living each day trying to please Him,
To the best of our human ability,
But delete that,
Then add to that a healthy dosage of His precious Spirit,
The one, the only Holy Spirit
Cuz in the flesh we really can't please Him,
Which is why we gotta kill it daily,
But if we're emptying ourselves of flesh,
And not taking our daily bread,
Are then any much better than a car,
With road tax, insurance and MOT,
But no petrol?
Can we go anywhere?
Can we seek after Him,
Can we long to be in His presence,
Where we desire His presence rather than His presents?
What if?

8 Things Living In Jamaica Has Taught Me

I lived in Jamaica for most of my life, I was born in London, England and left when I was 5 and lived there for 12 years. Leaving at such an early age I didn't fully grasp the British culture so at that point I had nothing to compare. I returned when I was 17 and that was in May 2007. Being aware enough in both countries and for the love of reflection, I wanna share some things even though there's definitely more than 10 things I've learnt.

1. What poverty REALLY means - In the UK and I imagine in the US as well, being "broke" means having no money till the next welfare payment comes through. In Jamaica being "broke" means being broke, it means looking in the cupboard and having no food, then checking your pockets and having no means to fill the cupboards. Being broke in Jamaica means you're BROKE!!
2. How to make nothing from an empty cupboard - being "broke" teaches you how to make something out of nothing. So you go to the trees, you turn to nature and friends and beg if you have to, to get something on the wood fire that you have to gather wood for and make and you get some food!! Grandma always used to say "use wha yu hav fi mek wha yu want" and so we did. 
3. How to really appreciate the small things in life - we grew up with most of the "basic" stuff e.g. electricity, fridge, iron, cooker, running water, washing machine etc. One day in class we were discussing a topic (which I now forget) but it had to do with the issue of ironing clothes, I explained to the class that you don't necessarily need to iron your clothes, if you flash it out hard enough and put it out to dry in the wind eventually all the creases will come out... The teacher looked at me and laughed and said "Kristal is that what you had to do today?" I wasn't confident enough to smile and say 'yes actually' so I bowed my head and cried. Coming to the UK and seeing people panic cuz the Wi-Fi is not connected properly makes me giggle. 
4. Respect - no, really the real thing! I learnt how to respect my elders, leaders, teachers and authority. I respect them, may not always like them but I respect them in the way that if you're not respectful there's a swift wind that follows the slap that connects to your face. That hurts. 
5. Appreciation for education - in the UK and US education is free, I had to pay to go to public schools, yes I did!!! We often had to skip school or sent back home cuz our fees weren't paid. 
6.  I've learnt what really matters - priorities in reality, I spend no time worrying about things that will in no way advance me. I've learnt that there's people out there that would KILL to have what I have so I've learnt how to appreciate what I have, I've had little so I appreciate the little I have now 
7. I've learnt the importance of reflecting - I've learnt how to look back, how to appreciate where I'm coming from to see that I've been worse and things could be worse. 
8. I came to the knowledge of God when I was living there - I knew OF Him, not what He meant to ME. But growing up in church made me appreciate the fact that God can reach anyone, He loves everyone and if it wasn't for mom dragging me to church every Sunday, Wednesday, Saturday and Friday, I wouldn't know how sweet it is to be in His house with His people - fellowship. 

F-A-M-I-L-Y

Family, 
The only word in the English dictionary that means nothing to me, 
But Christians aren't supposed to lie, right?
So I'll come clean, 
I'll let you know the truth, 
Which has been up till now, 
A secret, 
And a close guarded one, 
Just imagine the wall that Nehemiah rebuilt, 
On steroids, 
Up, alive and guarding this secret,
So here goes, 
Family, 
When I think, 
When I hear the word, 
Family, 
I feel distant, lonely, abandonment, suffer, abuse, alone, hurt, 
Feeling, 
Hurt feelings, 
Feelings too hurt to even know how I was feeling, 
Feelings buried alive, 
And not being dealt with, 
Only to be dug up years later, 
Forcing me to deal with feelings, 
The truth is I never really knew how to deal with feelings, 
Or family, 
So the real truth is you're strange to me, 
Don't upset me by calling me family, 
That means you'll only hurt, use and abuse me, 
So no, we ain't tight, 
We ain't family, 
Cuz that word only means pain to me.
F - feelings, A - abuse, M - missing, I - insignificant, L - loveLESS, Y - youth

When's It Gonna Be My Time

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV

I shoulda called this piece 'Be Patient' but we all know that pill is just a lil bit harder to swallow!

We all know somebody, who's hooking up with somebody, or someone else who's just got engaged or someone who asked you to be best man, or someone who asked you to use your child to be flower girl in their wedding. Someone always seems to be hooking up with someone, old friends, new friends, random people stopping to tell you their amazing love story.

There's also that one married person who keeps telling you that it will happen in God's time, I'm not disputing that God does His thing in His own time, I'm just asking you nicely to SHUT UP cuz you got your partner and been through your process. You probably done forgot how hard it is to wait!! Thank you.

Keeping it real, we just want God to come through with some dates and times so we can know when our time is, but think about it, if He told you who, when and where you'd probably kick up another storm cuz you have all the details, you just can't wait to get there!

You stay wondering, asking, praying, seeking God, when is it gonna be my turn Lord? I've been single 3 years, I've been obedient, I've sought after You, I have done what You said, I feel like I've done, been through it all and through it all You have been my all, my everything, my only lover. See the thing I've noticed with people like this is that they stay close to God and the longer you stay close to God is the more He'll make you like Him and when that happens He's gotta find a partner that's just like you; just like Him. (I hope you can appreciate how few and far between these people are) God ain't tryna hook you up with no half-hearted, lukewarm Christian who falls at the FIRST SIGN of temptation. For all you know God has to probably bring someone fresh off the street and MAKE them your partner! One preacher said: "the reason you ain't getting with anybody like everybody else, is cuz you ain't LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!" And how true is that? I'm not saying that those who have hooked up aren't legit, I'm just saying God has a time, ordained down to the very second of when you're supposed to meet your spouse.

What do I do in the mean time?

The hardest thing ever... Wait! Not the type of wait where you put everything on hold and sit doing nothing. No, the wait where you prepare. Have you ever really looked into your life and seriously considered if you're really ready for a spouse? What do you have to offer? What do you have to give? See being single is a time to prepare and what better way to prepare than to let the Holy Spirit guide you? He knows who your spouse is! I dare you to ask Him: what's his/her favourite meal so I can learn how to cook it, how does he/she like their coffee, do they even like coffee?!

My most favourite thing about being single is getting to spend time reading my Bible. To me marriage is a ministry and if you're in ministry you understand that it's just not about you! But being single you get to make it about you! I get to spend time with my Husband (Isaiah 54:5 if you're confused) I get to know Him, His precious Spirit and I SUBMIT (I know some people don't like that word let alone the action!) to Him, I do what He pleases and learn to dislike what He dislikes and it's amazing.

There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 1 Corinthians 7:34

So yeah I do wonder when's it gonna be my time, yeah I do wanna punch you in the neck if you're married telling me to 'just wait' (not really😂) but I know, I've learnt to trust God and His timing and also His AMAZING match-making skills. He knows me and that means He knows EXACTLY what I want even when I don't know.

For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. Psalms 139:13, 14

Trust

It's amazing the people we trust everyday... From the people who make you a cup of coffee to the bus drivers who transport you to destinations, it's amazing how we often never stop to think how much trust we are giving these people, how much our lives are literally in the hands of the bus driver, one wrong slight and lives could be lost. We often underestimate how much power these people have and how trusting we are we trust these people, with our lives we trust them.

Then we look at Jesus, we look at the Man who became sin to save us from sin, we look to the Holy Spirit an we complain that we can't see Him, but we trust the air we breathe. We look at the Father everyday and refuse to acknowledge, we refuse to put our trust in the One who gave us life and refuse to trust His Son who gives us life more abundantly we won't trust Him. We don't WANT TO trust Him.

Colossians 3:1

If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is,sitting at the right hand of God.
Colossians 3:1

If then you were raised with Christ

For you to be 'raised with' Christ you would have to be dead like He was, you would have had to be accused of something, you would have had to know that you were sent into this world to die, you would have had to know that they would choose you over a real criminal, you would have had to know that you would bear your own cross, walk to your place of death, be continually mocked and then stretched wide, and hung high and left to die, you would have to know that the heavens would close cuz your Father couldn't bear to look, angels weep, the ground shakes and the very sun looks away. To be raised with Christ you would have to die WITH Him as He died, you know you would call and say Eli, Eli lama sabachthani you know it wasn't even about you! IF THEN YOU **WERE** RAISED "WITH" Christ

Seek those things which are above

Jesus is no longer here, He stayed for 40 days after He rose from the grave on the 3rd day, He ain't here no more, He's above! And if we're raised WITH Him, just as He had His sights set on things above, kingdom business, so should we! So should we be focused on things above so when the boss gives you a hard time, look up! It's for His glory, when the kids drive you up the wall, look up. When you feel you wanna strangle your spouse (yeah don't look at me like you ain't human) look up, when the driver on the road cuts you up in a bad way, look up... Look to Jesus the author and finisher of your faith, look to things above as you should do once you've been raised from death, SEEK those things, go in search of, go on a quest to find out those things which are above! Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness

where Christ is,

There we shall be also, where you heart is there your treasure is also, where we look to, the things we seek and set our heart to there we shall be too. I go to my Father's to prepare a place for you... What He also said is: while I'm gone, you can find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart, you should prepare yourselves to come and be with Me, you gotta take off them shoes cuz where I am is holy ground, you gotta strip yourself of that bad attitude, them lying lips have to be cured with a hot coal, that envious spirit has to be tested and discarded of, you gotta prepare yourself for the place I'm preparing for you. You gotta have a clean heart, mind and soul to come to My Father's house, where I am is holy ground

sitting at the right hand of God

I am sitting, I ain't roaming no more I have a place to rest My head, not only am I sitting but I'm seated at the RIGHT hand of God my Father. You don't need me to tell you that biblically the right hand means power the right hand means strength!!! I am seated beside power and strength. Look this is where I need you to be, it ain't impossible because I done it. I'm here. I made it.

I died but I'm here, I was raised now I'm here. Where you are is not your destiny I have greater things planned for you but I ain't gon' force it down your throat you have to SEEK the things which are above, I've left nothing on the earth for you. Your riches are in heaven just as Mine are I have prepared a place for you. Are you ready for it?

Please Come!

And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them  with the fragrant oil. Luke 7:37, 38

This woman knew what she was doing, this woman, who in the text is referred to as 'a woman' had this planned a long time ago, there's no way she did this on a whim. She knew what she wanted to do and she went and got it done, she wanted to be forgiven for her sins, which Jesus pointed out in verse 47 of Luke 7, were many. This woman had a plan to push past everything to get what she wanted from her Master. She just had to, she was broken and had to be mended and all she had was the remnants of her past; her alabaster box.

She's strategic, she waited till Jesus was comfortable, she knew that she had to bring the best to The Lord and even if it meant bringing the wages of her prostitution, she brought it anyway. She had to position herself, behind Him because she knew she needed to be led and then she brought her tears, she brought her pain and cleansed Jesus' feet with her pain. She dried her pain with her crown of glory, kissed His feet with lips of praise and them anointed them with a sacrifice which would be a sweet smelling aroma to God.

I could go on and on with this scripture but I hear God calling His ladies, the ones that are so broken they think its no way He loves me now, the ones that have lost their way because of not taking heed to His voice, I hear God calling you home, He's saying come, bring your broken relationship, bring the sexual abuse you suffered at the hand of your father, uncle, brother, close family friend, bring Me your childhood pain, bring me the alcohol and the sex addictions, bring them to Me, lay them at My feet, I died for this, you don't have to bring the cross to Calvary, I already did that, though your sins are many please, please bring them to Me, lay them at My feet and I will make you whole. I will because I know the plans I have for you, to give you hope and a future and an expected end, I will because I have loved you with an everlasting love, I will because I have had a plan for your life from BEFORE you entered the womb, please just come!

And to my brothers, I know the testosterone, ego and pride will try and keep you from coming to God and laying down your hurt, shame, guilt and pain but The Lord is calling you too, if anything The Lord needs men, more spiritual leaders in His church, more sons to lead His daughters, He's calling you because He needs you.

And I, I beg, beseech, implore, ask, petition and pray that everyone will answer His call, if you know someone who needs to read this PASS IT ON. This is for the glory of the Most High King, who loves us all no matter where He has ordained our footsteps to trod, He loves you, He needs you and He's calling YOU!

Just To See You

I'm trying really hard to not let those words get to me,
I'm trying really hard to not process way other think of me,
If
I
Could
Just
Get to....
Where
Jesus
Is,
Then these thoughts and feelings could pass from me,
But they are the ones stop, no blocking me,
I'm tired of doing things to try and make people like me,
If I could just figure out how Jesus wants me,
I just want to be like Him,
Then I'd just try hard to worship Him,
Then,
Why does it have to wait though?
Why don't I worship Him here?
I try hard but the more I try is the more I fail,
If I try harder I fall farther,
I don't wanna do that
But that said; I don't know what I want,
I want Him,
Just to see Him,
His amazing presence
Jesus, can I see You?

Committed, Are You?

People can't commit, yes that word: COMMIT, to another person under the covenant of marriage because they haven't committed to God. They have a 'back up' plan, they have a way out, they have a 'just in case'. Just in case God don't come through for me, just in case He somehow magnificently fails me I'll have somewhere else to go.

Why are we always looking for that something else? Why do we sing "I surrender all" but have a lil bit held on to? And all that lil bit is doubt; God might not come through, we sing how great God is but doubt that He will actually part our Red Seas, we sing how He is our everything but don't run to Him unless we're up the creek without a paddle, Jesus I need a paddle.

God hurts too, I don't care how powerful He is, I don't care how majestic He is, He cares and if He didn't care He wouldn't hurt, He hurts too and so many times carry on hurting Him with our thoughts, our actions, our back up plans, and everything else that we place above and before Him; idols.

But I hear God saying: "why can't you just trust Me? Wholly and totally? I sent My Son! I gave you the only pure thing I had left in this world, I gave you purity so you can be like Him. Pure. I did that, I manifested Myself in the flesh to wash you and make you whole and you think I'm gonna leave you hanging? You think I'm gonna leave you in the pit? Even Joseph was delivered out of the pit! You think I can't FEEL your pain? You think I don't know how much it hurts for you to go through tests, trials and tribulations? But how else am I going to show myself strong? How else am I going to flex my muscles and show you that I am The Lord, the same God, how else? I have a plan that's perfect, predestined before the foundations of the earth is what I said, why then, can't you just trust Me? All that you're asking Me for is nothing! I am MORE than able to do it, how much able are you to trust me?"

We can't commit to a person we can see until we commit to the Invisible Lover, Lord I don't feel like it; I'm mad at You but I'm gonna talk to you tonight, I'm gonna pray and I'm gonna listen to You through Your Word is equivalent to 'honey you upset me today but I'm gonna talk to you cuz we are one body, we share the same bed, I don't love you any less, I'm committed to you'
The ring on the left hand ring finger is equivalent to the crown, the crown of thorns laid upon Jesus' head, IT'S A COMMITMENT!!!

Be transformed by the renewing of your mind, don't think as the world does about marriage.

Ladies, the Lord told me that anything He gives me is supposed to draw me closer to Him, if He blesses me with a man, that man is supposed to draw me closer to The Lord, if he respects his God, he'll protect your purity! Him being pure also will know how important purity is. It's cliché, I know but a man is supposed to KNOW and value your worth. He supposed to take me closer to The Lord and that's not in his bed unless he put a ring on it. My job is to enable him to take me there, feed him, nurture him, love him, make him feel loved, put his shoes on if I have to, anything that makes him leading me easier, anything that makes it easier from him to hear from The Lord, he can't hear from God if He's worried about what's for dinner tonight, he can't hear from God if he's listening to his thoughts about housekeeping all the time, and yes I'll know God for myself but he has come to take me closer to God and I have to know that he's hearing from God, I have to KNOW that his thoughts, his heart is ALWAYS open to hear from God!!

Submission is the word used to describe it. Commitment is the word used to describe it. Trust, in The Lord in all your doings and He will do the rest.