My Beauty

Life is short and family is limited,
I have never forgotten 2 tell you I love you,
I just didn't have 2 guts 2 say it,
Dearly beloved mother,
I love even the way you sniff,
That cough that distinguishes you in a crowd,
The prayers you covered us with,
The way you can't see stuff and have 2 ask us to read it,
Walking home in the dark from a long days' work,
I'm also so very sorry for the trouble I caused you,
I let everybody know that you raised me better than this,
Now watch me spin it round and make you proud,
I love you ma,
And I don't think I could EVER, EVER repay you for everything single little thing you've done in my life,
For giving me a love that extends 2 your grandkids,
It's a pity they don't have a mother like you,
No really, a real shame,
I wish I had an ounce of the grace you have,
The resilience and determination,
Thank you, but the Most High, for life,
Thanking Him for sending one of His angels 2 raise me,
Can't really express my gratitude on a piece of paper but still I try,
I love you ma,
A love these white sheets can't display 2 you,
But just so you know,
I love you.
01/02/2012

Publish That Piece

Publish That Piece
I'm so scared I'm shitting bricks,
No don't excuse my language,
I am actually shitting bricks,
So scared of what people might think,
Though I should practice Revelation 12:11,
I am a new man in Christ Jesus,
I am no longer that person I wrote about,
It should be to help some next girl know that she can change,
Change,
Maybe I haven't changed,
Still that coward who takes in satan's lies,
Folds into herself like origami,
Folded so tight the real me cant stand up,
I pray daily for unfolding,
But faith without works is dead,
That piece could be the unfolding of me,
'Let it out Kristal, let it out'
"No I wanna hold on to it"
Hold on to the past like some gift given on Valentines' Day,
No wait I chucked that in the bin,
Bin,
The old me needs to be binned and that piece could bin it,
I really can't see the big deal is though,
I can her my sis saying "cho a dat yu a gwaan suh fa?"
Making a big fuss ova nutn,
And still ain't saving that girl it's intended for,
KRISTAL WAKE UP AND STOP BEING STUPID,
Publish that piece and let it reach who it's supposed to!
...............Yeah maybe tomorrow...........
I'll publish that piece tomorrow........

So Wait

God please answer me this, I choose to live for you and you only then I lose everything?


Sometimes God takes away all that He didn't give you so He can bless you more abundantly,
Sometimes the things we have are more like distractions,
Sometimes He'll take them away to test our commitment to Him and to His ministry,
He, at no point in time, said it would be easy,
His own Son was tortured and beaten,
But the inking down of your name in the Lamb's Book Of Life has got to be worth it,
Sometimes God takes us back to where we were before we had anything,
Just to see if that inking down is worth it,
Job did it,
Sometimes God doesn't immediately deliver us when we ask,
But He will, oh yes He will,
All in His own time,
Just like He did the children of Israel,
Sometimes God, puts us through a mess just so we'll have a ministry,
Sometimes He'll not talk even though we're listening keenly,
Sometimes He'll make us try the impossible,
Just so He can prove Himself,
He likes to remind us the HE is in control,
So when nothing goes YOUR way,
Just ask God if it's going HIS way,
That's the best and only way things need to go,
Cuz like I said,
He is in control
Stay blessed
19/02/2012

Love

"I'd give anything and everything, to fall in love"
Yeah but would you give your soul? To Christ?

"Just this one time I'd like to find what I've been dreaming of"
Have you been dreaming of a love so pure and true where He died for sins YOU would commit?

"Well I could find someone to hold me, but that wouldn't be enough"
Falling into the arms of the Almighty Saviour,
Feeling the warmth of His embrace,
Hearing Him whisper, 'You are My child and I love you'
All this is enough,
More than enough

"I'd give anything to fall in love"
Then give your soul...... to God

"I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me"
I could show you love,
I could tell you to look at the beauty of the sunset,
The power in the smell of fresh rainfall,
The beauty of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly,
That;s love,
Look all around you'll see love,
But if you wanna KNOW love,
I'll point you to The Man,
Who can still love you even after the world ends!

"You don't know what it's like to love somebody"
Oh, I know!
I know a reliable, non-stop source of love, true love sacred and set apart love,
I know what it's like to love somebody

"Where do broken hearts go?"
I took mine to the altar,
Scraped them all up from the floor of the one who broke it,
And cried out to Him cuz I knew only He could mend it,
And then some,
He mended it then replaced it,
Reminded me that He needed me broken,
That was the only way I could see,
See Him as the mender of broken hearts,

"I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more just to be the man who walked 1000 miles to fall down at your door"
I often wonder if some would be willing to walk a million miles to be restored......,
What  would I do to prove my love for God?

"I didn't know why then, I found it was addictive love"
Yeah I was addicted,
To something higher,
More powerful,
Strange drug,
This drug set me free though,
Haha,
Addictive love set me free,

"You give me butterflyz, Got me flying so high in the sky"
I aint flying yet Jesus,
But these butterflies I be getting at the mention of You name,
I may as well be,
Can't wait to be caught up in the sky,
Going home to meet my Saviour on high

"He's got a whole lot a love in His heart for you, girl"
Aint that great?
A love soooo great He left high to come save me,
From low,
How great a love,
Oh great love how can it be,
That He left high to save me

"For God so loved the world........."
Need I say more?
Y'all should know John 3:16,
But I take it personally,
Like 'For God so loved me'
Haha, He still loves me,
Mercies new everyday and growth spiritually,
Oh boy He loves me
Wow,
When words leave me,
Wow Jesus loves me,
Yes Jesus loves me
John 3:16 tells me so!

And First Corinthians Thirteen tells me exactly how love should be!!


(Credits; In order of appearance)
I'd Give Anything - Gerald Levert
I Wanna Know What Love Is - Foreigner/Mariah Carey
To Love Somebody - Michael Bolton
Where Do Broken Hearts Go - Whitney Houston
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
Addictive Love - Bebe & Cece Winans
Butterflyz - Alicia Keys
Love Reigns - Bugle Ft. Tarrus Riley

Flutterbyes

So there's this guy yeah,
He calls me beautiful,
He calls me virtuous,
He makes my heart flutter every time I think of him,
Just mere mention of the name and my mind is reduced to noodles,
I'm in love, I'm in awe, I'm.................,
Sometimes lost for words,
Sometimes only song will do,
At times I just sit and think about,
Him,
It's just so full this love,
So unconditional,
And I know that there's love for me too,
No this aint a one way street,
This love....phew!
Will go beyond the grave,
His love for me is what makes my heart beat everyday,
His love for me inspires me to breathe,
His love gives me hope for my future,
His love says He will NEVER leave me nor forsake me,
His love is full of promises,
His love means He can't break my promises,
His love made me love Him,
Kirk Franklin said 'there's something about the name Jesus'
Now I know what it is,
Don't ask me to explain it though,
It's unexplainable,
I just know that I have it,
I have Him,
Something about that name that makes me wake up laughing,
On and on I could go about this love,
This is real true love,
Not puffed and proud love,
But humble and sound,
Unchanging, undying,
I don't have to care what this world thinks of me,
I got that agape love from Him,
And I'm blessed and highly favoured,
That's what He said!!!

Look Ma

Look Ma
I could say these words are from my heart,
But truth is, the are words from a bigger heart,
These words are from my soul,
Giving glory to The One the best way I know how:

Look Ma they recognising you today,
But its not just the one day you have to combat for our survival,
If only they could see the artillery you be packing,
Everyday,
Like its nutten,
Look Ma they be celebratin' today,
I know everyday you pray, asking The Man for an easier way,
Out,
They say there's a light at the tunnel but now you're just lookin' for the end,
Seems like it will never come Ma but you never did give up,
Kept on holdin' on,
Like your life did depend on it,
Literally,
Our lives did depend on it,
Right now I just live to make you proud,
And to please God like you taught me,
He showed me,
I know right now it may seems like nothing's gonna happen for you,
But just keep praying to The Man, He will see you through,
Just like He did all them other times when we prayed,
Prayed just like you taught us to,
And I'll pray for you too Ma that's all I can give you now,
My prayers and this piece,
That really only wants to say,
HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!!

It's Cool

It's Cool

It's funny how everything adds up,
Keep pushing and shoving me till I get fed up,
Never took the time out to ask me what's up?,
Never knew I was gone,
Funny how everything ends up,
Quite literally ends up,
Up to God and His sovereign power,
His infinite wisdom and undying mercy,
Never knew I was a child of Him huh?
Till it was too late,
But here's how the story ends anyway,
I pray for you to Him that He'll forgive you,
My heart is so still full of love FOR you,
I'm just not IN love WITH you,
I pray you'll change your ways cuz that's the only way I CAN change you,
Scuse me I'm being blasphemous,
Only He can change you,
The only power I have is to pray for you,
I really hope He forgives you,
Vengeance is Mine I will repay says the Lord,
But I don't want Him to pour His wrath on you,
Trust,
I just hope you come to repentance soon,
Before He comes back,
And I heard it said He's coming back soon,
I forgive you now let's move on,
I just don't trust you,
Trusting you would mean going back,
And I did say lets move on!

Church Hall vs. Dance Hall

I don't have a car no more so I can't go church this week,
Last year I wanted to go Reggae Sumfest, I rented a vehicle and take in the cost for air fare!
Time, nobody has enough, church always a rush fi done,
Preacher: "I have to cut dis one short due to time constraints"
Not once a Reggae Sumfest mi hear de artist seh him a stick to time,
More time a police haffi come and lock off de ting!
Everybody cuss when dance lock off too early but quick fi run outta church before offering collect,
Offering collecting everybody skint, stingy and giving greedily,
Vybz Kartel's gonna be around next week,
Yeah I know that, from last year it's been in my diary,
And I've got more than enough money to go,
Okay, okay, I know the Bible said come just as you are, okay, fair enough but when you goin dance 'hair did, nails did, everything big' another expense that coulda gone in the offering plate,
I can't go church dis week man I'm broke,
Yow my yute Aidonia is town mi a go pree him even if mi haffi walk yow......
Hmmmm
Imagine Christ saying hey yow Daddy mi nah go tek no beating wid whip and walk no long way fi dead fi nobody enuh, mi wha go pree Tarrus Riley,
Imagine dat eeh,
Forsaking a whole nation a people just fi go tek een one artist,
And if we are to be like Christ, aren't we supposed to save the nations?
Dat again, whine up and bruck out inna de dance but when it comes to jumping for His glory we all worried about who's looking and what they thinking,
I include myself, I am like this.... Who do you think inspired this piece?
No I can't move without a lil drink mayne, need the juice to intoxicate me, 'pass anoda bokkle, pass anoda bokkle'
Not once have I asked for the Holy Spirit to intoxicate me in order to "sing along and bruck loose for His glory"
There's nothing wrong with dancing for Jesus,
It's just that I didn't want people to look at me and say.... OMG, she's a weirdo.
They did it in the dance though,
Pointing fingers and laughing, discriminating and criticizing,
Saying I can't dance and I can't sing,
But my point remains,
I did it there despite of what they said,
Why should at church it be any different?
Something happens when I sing to Him,
When I call on His name and ask for more of His spirit,
Something ignites in the depths of my soul,
A part of me I didn't even know existed,
It sends a msg to my brain saying
Be not thoughtful of what your neighbour might think,
And when it manifests on the outside,
I really couldn't care less about who's lookin or what I'm saying
That said I don't know what I'm saying the Holy Spirit has taken over,
Filled me up and is using me as a portal of praise
Don't know why I didn't seek The Trinity earlier,
Wasted all my time at bus stops in the cold waiting to catch a bus then a train then 2 tubes to Wembley Stadium,
The money I wasted paying to go hear these artists fill my soul with nonsense,
Boi how I wish now that I went to that Goddy Goddy concert,
Woulda done me good, no lie,
But here I am Lord,
Thank you for your grace that's brought me back to your Throne of Grace,
Have your way with me, if you can use anything, you can use me,
I'm empty,
Restore and fill me Lord and use me for your Glory,
And let the next time I go to a dance, it's to minister to lost souls for your Kingdom
I need You to do that for me,
Just cleanse me, fill me and use me.
19/02/2012

But Who Am I?

BUT WHO AM I?
But who am I that for me He died?
But who am I that each day He makes me see the sun?
But who am I that His grace is enabling me each and every day?
But who am I that each time I sin He is again crucified?
But who am I that He forgives me each time?
But who am I that for me He created the world?
But who am I that He knew He would die but at no point in time did He say ‘Father take me back cuz these people don’t deserve your mercy’?
But who am I that, for me, He died….. anyway?
He was mocked, beaten, bruised, scorned, spat on, nailed, ridiculed, laughed at, betrayed and denied.
I am me, to some considered a nobody but to my Lord; a faithful servant
To my King I am considered a Queen of His Kingdom
To my Father I am considered an obedient daughter
To my Saviour I am considered worthy, worthy of His blood and the shame He faced
To The One, I am considered His one; His Chosen One
To Him I am considered beautiful, precious and worthwhile
And to me I consider myself blessed and highly favoured
I am His masterpiece, I have purpose, I have a praise, I have a song, I have a testimony, I have a Father who knows my future, He knows my heart and He hears my prayers
So who am I? “I am somebody because the God that I serve doesn’t specialize in junk, He specializes in jewels” :-D
11/12/2011

Marriage Is A Ministry

Not many people know this, in fact, I didn't know up until very recently. I read it before but didn't understand, that and submission. I got it when someone described serving your husband like serving God, you first have to submit to God - to His will and His way before you understand how to submit to a man. That's how a marriage works. But how does that explain how marriage is a ministry? It doesn't, it just gives a background but this is how I understand how it works: you learn through singleness how to submit to God how to listen to Him when He speaks and understand His way. You know what pleases Him and what He dislikes and you live your life according to what pleases Him. That sounds like a lot to give to a man doesn't it? Well that's exactly how a marriage works! Imagine now you're physically single but in a relationship with God, you're submitting to God though. God sends to you a man that He has ordained - think of how a pastor has to go through training exams and tests then he is ordained in the church as a pastor - same way God has put a man who's to become a husband through the motions, testing his faith and patience, his love for God before ordaining him as someone's husband. God only picks the best for His children, not only that but God, after testing these men, sees whether or not they're suitable for YOU! And after putting His man through all this He wants a woman to treat His ordained king properly. The same way you treat God - except worshiping him of course - that part is left for God, that goes without saying. 

But that is how it should be, wives submitting to their husbands and obviously - this way - you serving a man of God is a ministry. 

So take your time, worship your God, know your God, please your God, know what true submission means. Don't rush into it because marriage is for a lifetime, as is serving your God. 

1 Corinthians 7 v 34 - the difference between a married woman and a single woman. 

Where are you? 

WOMAN!!!!

This one is for the WOMAN of God, 

This one is for the 9-5 working WOMAN of God, 

This one is for the going to night school WOMAN of God, 

This one is for the WOMAN of God who has the loudest praise because she has a lot to give thanks for, 

This one isn't for any ole' woman, 

This one is for the WOMAN of God, who still trusted God when she couldn't see anything in the cupboard,

This one is for the WOMAN of God who kept herself for God, 

This one is for the WOMAN of God who had the option to sell her body for food but gave her soul to God instead knowing that He would provide, 

This one is for the WOMAN of God who has her childrens' eyes looking back at her, as she looks back from the empty cupboard,

This one is for that WOMAN of God, 

That one who smiled through the pain, 

That one who praised even so much more harder through the pain, 

That one who taught her children how to pray, 

That one who loved God in spite of her circumstances, 

That one who can't see a way out even today, 

That one who is being dragged through life by the hem of His garment refusing to let go, 

That one who will accept the crumbs from the Masters table, 

That one who can't see tomorrow but trusts The One who holds it, 

And that one who is being ridiculed for her faith, 

That one who seems to have lost hope.......but is still holding out hope, 

That one who thinks it's easier to sin than live like this......but holds on anyway, 

That one who can't see any light at all in that tunnel.....but holds on anyway, 

This one is for that WOMAN of God, that God-fearing, walk to church if I have to, pay my tithes even if it means I'm gonna be broke, sing with my sore throat, sleep at church not to miss a service, build a ministry from ground up, sing in the choir, sing on praise and worship, do the announcements, do hospitality, be moderator........ 

This is for that WOMAN who knows God is her everything and she behaves like He's the only one for her, 

This is for her..... God sees and He knows, He'll never leave you alone, to Him; you're the only girl in the world, He'll never leave you or forsake you and that you are a Queen in His eyes. 

WOMAN 

My sistren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 

Taken from James 1:2-4

07/05/2012

Options

Have you ever seen those movies where people are diagnosed with a terminal illness? How they go to 39 different doctors in 12 different countries and already undergone 48 types of treatment, then there's a scene when they're in the hospital chapel or wherever praying, crying and seeking God for a miracle? As a last resort they cry out to God. They've exhausted all other options and I'm sure the doctors have exhausted all methods and plans and "there is nothing more we can do". That's it, they're sent home to die. Then the in the scene where they're in the chapel calling out to God goes a lil like this 'God I know you're there, sorry I didn't believe in you, I need a miracle, I know you can hear me, heal me, I need a miracle'. 

I sometimes believe that God will stick people in a situation just to remind them that He is God, he is Jehovah Rophe, or Jehovah Jireh, or whoever He needs to be in the circumstances. 

It's such a shame that we have to reach this point before we cry out. It's such a shame that He is a last resort but in the same breath it's a marvelous thing that people remember Him as THE One, the only one, with all the answers and it takes a simple prayer to restore financial health, physical health, relationship health and all the other things we need. It's not easy to let go and let God. You have to know Him for His infinite wisdom and trust Him enough to know that He'll NEVER let you fall. Then the rest is easy, hand it over to Him or He will force you into a place where He can remind you He's the only way out. He'll do it if He has to. 

But it doesn't have to be that way. From the beginning He gave us choice, so what will you choose today? Will you let Him be the God of first choice or last resort?Either way He is God! 

07/05/2012

NO, I'M NOT OKAY

Hi, you alright? 
Yes I replied, I lied giving a smile as reassurance
She couldn't see through me though, 
Throughout the whole day I repeated this process 
Until......
Until the 15th person asked me, 
No I'm not okay, 
See I didn't understand as mature Christians in the faith they will drop what they're doin 2 comfort you and hear your story
I just thought they were asking it in passing not knowing that hearin you and helping me was giving Him glory....
Aaaaahhh see that's why the devil was whispering in my ear saying 'they don't really care yano, they're just asking as courtesy, no one wants to hear your sad stories or what sin you committed last night. They're here for the own eternal safety' 
Look up 'Christian' and I'm sure it will say 'one who is like Christ' and that in itself is self explanatory 
You can sit in a corner a cry but when you're done get on the phone and tell someone why! 
"As A Christian be a good Samaritan"
Drop what you're doing sometimes to help another fella out 
Love selflessly and unconditionally 
Nuh mek tru dem tell yu seh dem commit sin carnally
Yu a go turn judgemental, 
For He shall judge you and what will be your answer then? 
Self pity and bitterness will consume you, 
Leaving you dried up and feeling used, 
I wonder why I don't have anyone to talk to, 
Doesn't anyone care? 
Can anyone not see the hurt I'm feeling? 
Oh no they can't, 
Cuz the devil not only fools YOU into thinking you're 'okay',
He also gives you the mechanisms you need to display, 
The 42 teeth smile, the lies, the bubbly nature, 
He'll even use someone else if he has to! 
So I implore you, I beg and beseech you,
Please don't keep it to yourself, 
Write it down if you have to, 
Make a recording of it,
Whatever way feels best to you,
And just let someone know you're hurting, 
Cuz if you don't, there's nothing they can really do to help you, 
So just speak, 
NO I'M NOT OKAY! 
19/02/2012

Imagine Me

Imagine me though,
Being truly free,
Free to lift my hands, 
Free to say AMEN!
Imagine me, 
Not caring what the world thinks of me, 
Not caring about how mad I may seem, 
Imagine me, 
I can all but too well imagine me, 
But that's the problem....... I'm imagining ME! Without HIM! 
Now that's just flawed, 
Since my daily prayer is: Kill my flesh Lord, I desire to be nothing but You're Holy Spirit, 
Now I have to imagine me WITH Him, 
Now I can imagine me with power, 
I can imagine when I pray that what I ask for I will receive, 
I can imagine the tearing down of strongholds 
And I can imagine me not because I want to imagine ME but because THROUGH Him: I CAN, 
I can see Him using me, 
I can see I have hope Jeremiah 29:11
I can see a blessing through the stress, 
And I can see the PAIN is a PROCESS to the PURPOSE,
I can see......... His purpose being fulfilled in me, 
Not for me but for His glory, 
I am just a portal for His light to shine through, 
And if His light aint shining, 
Me,by myself I'm just a lighthouse with no light, 
Useless, 
So I call upon Him daily,
To kill my flesh so I don't have to be useless, 
And thank Him in advance for my tests that will only make my lighthouse taller and brighter, 
So when I leave this earth He will say well done 
And not send me back to the kitchen cause by then it would too late to be re-done
Imagine Him...........